???? TRUTH ?????

Do we listen, in order to confirm what we already think and in order to reply? Or do we listen in order to discover something new? Do we enter into a conversation with a willingness to learn rather than the intent to force others to accept our views?

Are we willing to learn? Are we willing to change? Are we open to the truth, no matter what the consequences, no matter where it leads us?

Are we willing to admit that we are wrong? Maybe we have always been wrong or maybe our views are obsolete and no longer appropriate in a rapidly changing world.

Are we ready to listen? Are we open? And by being open, I do not mean gullible. Being open does not mean swallowing everything we hear "hook, line and sinker". Or being talked over and walked upon - not standing for our point of view. We still need to challenge everything but from an attitude of openness, not stubbornness.

Are we prepared to tell the truth? To describe the world as we really see it?

Are we prepared to accept that in being honest we will scare the living daylights out of people? >

Are we prepared to deal with people, who when we tell the truth, will perceive it as a personal assault - an invitation to battle rather than the beginning of a real conversation.

We resist speaking the truth, and we avoid hearing it, too. Are we prepared to be vulnerable and ask people what they really think of us?

The truth is an emotive word. It is seeped in philosophical meaning.

Is there a single truth? Is there a single underlying reality? Or are there many truths? Is truth a matter of individual perspective?

Don't get me wrong - I'm not looking to open a philosophical debate. I'm more concerned with everyday practicalities.

To my mind, in everyday matters of complex human affairs, be they business or personal, there are many truths. There is rarely such a thing as "the truth" but "my truth", "your truth" and "his or her truth".

In seeing the world we are not objective, dispassionate observers. We see things through different lens with different filters. Our observing equipment is different, shaped and formed by years of differing experiences, by our genes and by our parents and teachers. People are fundamentally different. People are more different than we ever realize. What motivates us, turns us on, turns us off, makes us happy, makes us sad, fulfilled or depressed is different for all of us.

Maybe there is a single underlying reality - a single truth - maybe not - but what I think is certain is that if there is - we rarely see it or agree it .

We all experience and perceive the world differently.

If we do not listen and do not tell the truth then what hope is there for us truly sharing, synergising and making productive our collective knowledge. We need to explore the fundamental role of conversation in knowledge management, the barriers and how to overcome them.

But fundamentally it is simple - we need 'to learn to listen' (or should it be 'to listen to learn'?) and 'to tell the truth'.

David Gurteen

¸,.·´¯`·.»§« Practice a Random Act of Kindness »§«.·´¯`·.,¸

(C) http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Spirituall y_Speaking > > spiritually_ speaking- subscribe@ yahoogroups. com : )> >

Forgiveness Quotes

It is my experience that many have a limiting definition of forgiveness, what it means to forgive, how to forgive, why to forgive. Some consider forgiveness a one time thing, some a process. Some think forgiveness is a requirement others see it as a gift.

Here are some quotes that spoke to me, there are many more out there if you want to see other perspectives.

I wrote what each quote meant to me, please feel free to add your quotes and how they speak to you if you desire.

Anonymous
Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.

To me this shows the beauty of forgiveness, for the one giving and the one receiving.
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Paul Boese
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

This makes me feel hope.
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E. H. Chapin
Never does the human soul appear so strong as when is forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury

I have always considered myself less than, and weak, this makes me think that maybe there is more to me than I previously realized.
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Confucius
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it

Not to belittle an offenders actions, but really I determine how much and for how long I will be hurt.
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Do you prefer that you be right or happy?

Being right is not the reward most of us desire it to be.
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Norman Cousins
Life is an adventure in forgiveness

This makes me realize that life and forgiveness are intertwined, and the idea of forgiveness as an adventure speaks of growth and change.
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Mahatma Gandhi
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility

This speaks to the humanity of us all, we all hurt, we all make mistakes, we all have fears, some people do things out of evil, but most people act out of their own wounds and do hurtful things.
Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
I do not always realize at the time why I do or say some things, I do not always have that self awareness, this is something we all share.
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Henri Nouwen
It is freeing to become aware that we do not have to be victims of our past and can learn new ways of responding. But there is a step beyond this recognition... It is the step of forgiveness. Forgiveness is love practiced among people who love poorly. It sets us free without wanting anything in return.

This shows me I have choice, I am not stuck, I have power, and ability if I chose to exercise them.
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Carolyn Osiek
It is not "forgive and forget" as if nothing wrong had ever happened, but "forgive and go forward," building on the mistakes of the past and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future.

This helps me not beat myself up for not being able to forget the past, but encourages me to grow through the past in the freedom that forgiveness offers.
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Thomas Stephen Szasz
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive and do not forget.

I used to be the naive, forgiving and not holding anyone responsible for the consequences of their actions, I now realize that it is ok to have needs and requirements of the one being forgiven, that does not mean I have not forgiven, just means I am being honest about my needs.
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Bishop Desmond Tutu
In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence

Can't add to that one.
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Jean Vanier
When we judge, we are pushing people away; we are creating a wall, a barrier. When we forgive we are destroying barriers, we come closer to others.

I used to be a primo judger, especially of myself and my wants/needs and I erected many walls that kept me alone and isolated.
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Simon Wiesenthal
Forgetting is something that time takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision.

Again this shows my choice and gives compassion in not setting a time line or making one feel guilty for not forgiving sooner or in a way that others think they should, it is freeing, not constraining.
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Doc Childre and Howard Martin,
The HeartMath Solution In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about.

The offense has stopped. One's past is marred with it, but one's future is marred only if one does not move forward and do what is needed to heal.
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David McArthur & Bruce McArthur, The Intelligent Heart
Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.
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Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past. Thanks to Mike D.

This one hit me hard, I am an heirloom type person, I value the past and the people of the past, to hold on to the offenses of the past keeps the future past I am now creating in the present from being the best it could be, for me and those around me.
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Alden Nowlan
The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

So far I am at the adult level, took me 40 years to get here but I am finally a grown up, now to work on becoming wise.
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Unknown
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was YOU.

Again to me this speaks of awareness, I had such a small window of awareness which has been pried open and I hope it continues to open.
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Indira Gandhi
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

Some things just are.


There is an answer to unsolvable situations; there is always one more thing that I can do, I can forgive! I wish I had learned earlier about forgiveness, both giving and receiving it and the freedom of spirit it can bring. You cannot have a happy old age without it. When a situation has broken down in hurt and bitterness, and disagreement is so deep there seems no solution on earth -- there remains forgiveness. ~ Edith Buxton

My emotions at times can and do cause me to feel that life is hopeless, that there is not solution, no relief, no way out. And in reality that is probably true. Some situations cannot be logic-ed out, cannot be toughed out, cannot be waited out, there really is not earthly solution, it takes something beyond the temporal, and that something is forgiveness.

Midlife Crisis - Midlife Revelations - which will you chose?

We all go through them (notice I did not say it, I said them). Some people think they only have one, not true they just only paid attention to one. They also begin prior to mid life, but most are so busy with building life or surviving life that they do not notice until it is overwhelming.


The midlife crisis and the midlife revelation begin the same way, the difference is how one processes and reacts/responds. It begins with an unsettling, a realization, an awareness. The crisis response is to focus on an outward self, to try and relive the past, to re capture youth, and so on. The revelation response it to look deep within, to learn about the inner self, to revisit the past, not to relive, but to put it to rest peacefully, and to take this new awareness of self and move forward in life with a desire to enrich others around you as well as yourself.

Links

Thought I would post some of my favorite YouTube links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvCjyWp3rEk

I will add more as I find them or perhaps I should say, as they find me.

Before I have even finished my first cup of tea....

This just does me in, a 3 y/o boy in New Mexico was suffocated by his mother in the park and then buried in the sand. She was alone, had no support, said she did not want her son to grow up unloved like she was. She has tried to commit suicide in jail. She turned herself in. No criminal record, no drug abuse, people say she partied.

This post is not about her so much, and it is not about her son so much, as it is about the situation. This seems to be happening so often. There seems to be such hopelessness, there seem to be such people living existences of solitary pain.

People living near the park raised around $4000 for the boys funeral. Neighbors gathered at a makeshift memorial at the playground consisting of candles, flowers, stuffed animals and toy trucks. Children played at the park; parents and grandparents wept.

Someone from the park neighborhood said they named the boy Baby Angel, but they are glad to know his name. She wants the mother to find out that the son she killed has a lot of people who Love him and would do anything for a child.

Another neighborhood mother commented that she wished she would have been at the park when it happened, she would have helped the mother, she would have called someone, she knows the community could have saved the child. She thinks the mother should have just abandoned him in the park, she knows that someone there would have taken care of him. She believes the neighborhood would have helped the mother.

Is this really how it would have gone down? I wonder. I would like to think so, I would hope so, but truly would it? I have heard stories of communities doing such, but wonder why it is not a given, why do some people get the help and concern they need before it is too late and others do not? It is too late to know for sure now how this could have played out. Did the mom reach out in the past to be ignored? Did others see the warning signs prior and ignore them?

What is the point of buying toys to put at the memorial, there is no longer a little boy to play with them, why were they not given to him when he had breath? Money for a funeral, truly a nice thing to do, but that money could have paid for alot of counselling instead of a funeral.

Would I have done anything if it was in my neighborhood? Do I pay attention to the others in my neck of the world? Truth be told, probably not as I could. That is sad.

These are my ponderings, my questions, my frustrations. Not a great uplifting first post to start my blog with, but there it is, real life early on a Friday Morning.