Judgement.......

I am posting this here because I want to have it readily available to read over and over again for myself. I wish this is what was drummed into my head all my growing up years instead of the IC thought of being your brothers keeper, of being judgemental, of looking at others actions through a filter of right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable. Nothing should be filtered with a preset parameter filter system. Each person, each situation, needs to be seen for what it is individually, standing on its own, not compared to anything else.

I grew up with a mom who did this, so I had that example, but then I put in so many hours at a school that taught me to do the opposite, so I have always had this conflict, this feeling of letting others "be" in their journey vs. deciding where others are and if they should be there or not.

On a list I am on the topic of suicide came up. Many different thoughts and ideas about it, many opinions, much compassion, but most of the discussion was about suicide as a whole. I do not think it (or any issue really) can be taken as a whole, each case of suicide has to be taken individually. There are so many factors that play a part that need to be seen and acknowledged. One cannot blanket all suicides and give a judgement call on the issue once and for all.

The below is a thought pattern that I would like to see ingrained in my mind to the point it becomes automatic, and it become the filter through which I evaluate the world going on around me. Starting with this foundation will grant me the ability to really see situations for what they are, and thus help me to be able to make better formed judgements when judgements are called for as well as to let judgements go when they are not needed instead of feeling the need to judge everything and label it and put it in a specific category. Lets be honest, we cannot live a totally judgement free life, but we have taken judgements to the extreem and judge way more than is truly needed.

Accepting The Journeys Of Others

Each of us, in life, walks on the special path that the soul is destined to undertake. Our journeys are very different and we progress at different rates. The pitfalls and blessings we encounter are unique, yet we are all learning and no one form of knowledge is more important than any other. Even so, when we observe others, it can be easy to pass judgement on their decisions and to assume their actions will correspond with what we feel is right. But for every problem, there are a multitude of solutions. Everyone makes mistakes and, while watching others do so can be frustrating, it is important that you accept each person's unique way of doing things. Giving others the freedom to act in the way they feel are best without the fear of harsh judgements honours the capacity for growth that all people possess.

It is helpful to practise accepting others as they are. Never judge the decisions of others based on the path you would have taken because every person lives by different values and experiences. Challenge is a universal concept, but we all deal with difficulties in our own way. Give others the space to fail, but don't harden your heart against their experience. It isn't wise to try and fix people or control situations. You may feel compelled to intervene when difficulties arise, but it is important only to offer guidance when asked unless the person is involved in a truly dangerous situation or cannot act for themselves. Failure to choose the right path or to make enlightened decisions is simply another step on the journey. It is a means to experience and wisdom. Letting go of the need to influence others does not discount offering loving support and it does not mean that you need to stop caring. It does mean stepping back, dissolving judgement, and gracefully allowing others! to live their own destinies.

Giving others the freedom to blossom in their own journeys gives you the freedom to take more notice of your own. You may not condone the actions you see taking place, but your reactions will be more loving by letting them be. And you will be able to focus on just being yourself, confident that the path you take is as right, valid, and special as any other.<http://www.dailyom. com/>